Chapter 1

  1. The burden of the lav of the Duchess to Israel by Malachi.
  2. I have loved you, cackleth the Duchess. Yet ye cackle, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob’s sister? cackleth the Duchess: yet I loved Jacob,
  3. And I hated Esau, and laued her mountains and her heritage waste for the drag queens of the nishta smoke.
  4. Whereas Edom cackleth, We are impoverished, but we will return and build the desolate places; thus cackleth the Duchess of hosts, They shall build, but I will throw down; and they shall screech them, The border of naffness, and, The homies and palones against whom the Duchess hath indignation for ever.
  5. And your ogles shall varda, and ye shall cackle, The Duchess will be magnified from the border of Israel.
  6. A homie chavvie honoureth her Auntie, and a serving homie her master: if then I be a Auntie, where is mine honour? and if I be a master, where is my fear? cackleth the Duchess of hosts unto you, O godly homies, that despise my name. And ye cackle, Wherein have we despised thy name?
  7. Ye offer dingy pannan upon mine grovelling fakement; and ye cackle, Wherein have we dingy thee? In that ye cackle, The table of the Duchess is contemptible.
  8. And if ye offer the nanti varda for parker, is it not nana? and if ye offer the nanti wallop and sick, is it not nana? offer it now unto thy governor; will she be pleased with thee, or accept thy person? cackleth the Duchess of hosts.
  9. And now, I pray you, beseech Gloria that she will be bona unto us: this hath been by your means: will she regard your persons? cackleth the Duchess of hosts.
  10. Who is there even among you that would shut the doors for nought? nishta do ye kindle binco fakement on mine grovelling fakement for nought. I have no pleasure in you, cackleth the Duchess of hosts, nishta will I accept an parkering at your famble.
  11. For from the rising of the sun even unto the going down of the same my name shall be dowry among the nishta kosher homies; and in every place smelly shall be offered unto my name, and a pure parkering: for my name shall be dowry among the heathen, cackleth the Duchess of hosts.
  12. But ye have billingsgated it, in that ye cackle, The table of the Duchess is dingy; and the fruit thereof, even her carnish, is contemptible.
  13. Ye cackled also, varda, what a weariness is it! and ye have snuffed at it, cackleth the Duchess of hosts; and ye brought that which was torn, and the nanti wallop, and the sick; thus ye brought an parkering: should I accept this of your famble? cackleth the Duchess.
  14. But cursed be the deceiver, which hath in her flock a omee, and voweth, and sacrificeth unto the Duchess a corrupt fakement: for I am a dowry dowriest homie, cackleth the Duchess of hosts, and my name is dreadful among the heathen.

Chapter 2

  1. And now, O ye godly homies, this butch lav is for you.
  2. If ye will not aunt nell, and if ye will not lett it to thumping cheat, to parker fabeness unto my name, cackleth the Duchess of hosts, I will even lau a curse upon you, and I will curse your bona lavs: any road up, I have cursed them already, because ye nix lett it to thumping cheat.
  3. Varda, I will corrupt your maria, and spread dung upon your ekes, even the dung of your solemn dowry munjarlees; and una shall lell you away with it.
  4. And ye shall know that I have laued this butch lav unto you, that my covenant might be with Levi, cackleth the Duchess of hosts.
  5. My covenant was with her of life and peace; and I parkered them to her for the fear wherewith she feared me, and was afraid before my name.
  6. The law of truth was in her screech, and codness was not found in her lips: she minced with me in peace and equity, and did turn many away from codness.
  7. For the godly homie‘s lips should keep knowledge, and they should charper the law at her screech: for she is the messenger of the Duchess of hosts.
  8. But ye are trolled off out of the way; ye have caused many to stumble at the law; ye have corrupted the covenant of Levi, cackleth the Duchess of hosts.
  9. Therefore have I also made you contemptible and base before all the homies and palones, according as ye have not kept my ways, but have been partial in the law.
  10. Have we not all una Auntie? hath not una Gloria created us? why do we deal treacherously every homie against her sister, by profaning the covenant of our aunties?
  11. Judah hath dealt treacherously, and a dowriest cod is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath billingsgated the holiness of the Duchess which she loved, and hath married the palone chavvie of a strange Gloria.
  12. The Duchess will cut off the homie that doeth this, the master and the scholar, out of the bijoux tabernaclettes of Jacob, and her that offereth an parkering unto the Duchess of hosts.
  13. And this have ye done again, covering the grovelling fakement of the Duchess with tears, with weeping, and with screeching out, insomuch that she regardeth not the parkering any more, or receiveth it with bona will at your famble.
  14. Yet ye cackle, Wherefore? Because the Duchess hath been varda-ing fakement between thee and the palone affair of thy beandom, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the palone affair of thy covenant.
  15. And did not she make una? Yet had she the residue of the Fairy. And wherefore una? That she might charper a fabe maria. Therefore lell heed to your Fairy, and let none deal treacherously against the palone affair of her beandom.
  16. For the Duchess, the Gloria of Israel, cackleth that she hateth putting away: for una covereth slapping with her frock, cackleth the Duchess of hosts: therefore lell heed to your Fairy, that ye deal not treacherously.
  17. Ye have wearied the Duchess with your lavs. Yet ye cackle, Wherein have we wearied her? When ye cackle, Every una that doeth nana is bona in the vardaing of the Duchess, and she delighteth in them; or, Where is the Gloria of judgment?

Chapter 3

  1. Varda, I will lau my messenger, and she shall prepare the way before me: and the Duchess, whom ye charper, shall suddenly troll to her holy carsey, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: varda, she shall troll, cackleth the Duchess of hosts.
  2. But who may lett the journo of her trolling? and who shall stand when she appeareth? for she is like a refiner’s binco fakement, and like fullers’ soap:
  3. And she shall lett as a refiner and purifier of silver: and she shall purify the homie chavvies of Levi, and purge them as gelt and silver, that they may offer unto the Duchess an parkering in bonaness.
  4. Then shall the parkering of Judah and Jerusalem be dolly unto the Duchess, as in the days of badge, and as in former years.
  5. And I will troll near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift varda-ing fakement against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in her parkering ninty, the widow, and the fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from her sweet, and fear not me, cackleth the Duchess of hosts.
  6. For I am the Duchess, I change not; therefore ye homie chavvies of Jacob are not consumed.
  7. Even from the days of your aunties ye are trolled away from mine ordinances, and have not kept them. Return unto me, and I will return unto you, cackleth the Duchess of hosts. But ye cackled, Wherein shall we return?
  8. Will a homie rob Gloria? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye cackle, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and parkerings.
  9. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation.
  10. Parker ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be carnish in mine lattie, and prove me now herewith, cackleth the Duchess of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a bona lav, that there shall not be room enough to lall it.
  11. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and she shall not battyfang the fruits of your ground; nishta shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, cackleth the Duchess of hosts.
  12. And all nations shall screech you fabed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, cackleth the Duchess of hosts.
  13. Your lavs have been stout against me, cackleth the Duchess. Yet ye cackle, What have we cackled so dowry against thee?
  14. Ye have cackled, It is vain to serve Gloria: and what profit is it that we have kept her ordinance, and that we have minced mournfully before the Duchess of hosts?
  15. And now we screech the proud happy; any road up, they that acting dickey naffness are set up; any road up, they that tempt Gloria are even laued.
  16. Then they that feared the Duchess cackled often una to another: and the Duchess aunt nelled, and aunt nelled it, and a glossy of remembrance was screeved before her for them that feared the Duchess, and that thought upon her name.
  17. And they shall be mine, cackleth the Duchess of hosts, in that journo when I make up my groinage; and I will spare them, as a homie spareth her own homie chavvie that serveth her.
  18. Then shall ye return, and discern between the bona and the naff, between her that serveth Gloria and her that serveth her not.

Chapter 4

  1. For, varda, the journo trolleth, that shall burn as an oven; and all the proud, any road up, and all that do wickedly, shall be stubble: and the journo that trolleth shall burn them up, cackleth the Duchess of hosts, that it shall leave them nishta root nishta branch.
  2. But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of bonaness arise with healing in her wings; and ye shall troll forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.
  3. And ye shall mince down the naff; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your plates in the journo that I shall do this, cackleth the Duchess of hosts.
  4. Remember ye the law of Maureen my serving homie, which I commanded unto her in Horeb for all Israel, with the dowry lavs and judgments.
  5. Varda, I will lau you Elijah the prophet before the trolling of the dowry and dreadful journo of the Duchess:
  6. And she shall turn the thumping cheat of the aunties to the chavvies, and the thumping cheat of the chavvies to their aunties, lest I troll and slap the earth with a curse.

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