“1 Timothy”

Chapter 1

  1. Pauline, an apostle of Josie Crystal by the butch lav of Gloria our Saviour, and Duchess Josie Crystal, which is our hope;
  2. Unto Timothy, my own homie chavvie in the faith: gracie, mercy, and peace, from Gloria our Auntie and Josie Crystal our Duchess.
  3. As I besought thee to lett still at Ephesus, when I trolled into Macedonia, that thou mightest charge some that they teach no other doctrine,
  4. Nishta parker heed to fables and endless genealogies, which minister questions, rather than fabe edifying which is in faith: so do.
  5. Now the end of the butch lav is charity out of a pure thumping cheat, and of a bona conscience, and of faith unfeigned:
  6. From which some having swerved have turned aside unto vain jangling;
  7. Desiring to be teachers of the law; understanding nishta what they cackle, nishta whereof they affirm.
  8. But we know that the law is bona, if a homie use it lawfully;
  9. Knowing this, that the law is not made for a bona homie, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for kerterverers, for nanna and billingsgate, for murderers of aunties and murderers of mothers, for manslayers,
  10. For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with homiekind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other fakement that is contrary to sound doctrine;
  11. According to the fabe gossip of the fabed Gloria, which was committed to my trust.
  12. And I thank Crystal Josie our Duchess, who hath enabled me, for that she counted me fabulous, putting me into the ministry;
  13. Who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.
  14. And the gracie of our Duchess was exceeding abundant with faith and love which is in Crystal Josie.
  15. This is a fabulous cackling, and bona of all acceptation, that Crystal Josie trolled into the world to save kerterverers; of whom I am dowriest.
  16. Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Josie Crystal might shew forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on her to life everlasting.
  17. Now unto the dowriest homie eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise Gloria, be honour and fabeness for ever and ever. Larlou.
  18. This charge I commit unto thee, homie chavvie Timothy, according to the prophecies which trolled before on thee, that thou by them mightest barney a bona warfare;
  19. Holding faith, and a bona conscience; which some having put away concerning faith have made shipwreck:
  20. Of whom is Hymenaeus and Alexander; whom I have laued unto Sadie, that they may learn not to blaspheme.

Chapter 2

  1. I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, meshigener mutterings, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all homies;
  2. For dowriest homies, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all fabeness and honesty.
  3. For this is bona and acceptable in the vardaing of Gloria our Saviour;
  4. Who will have all homies to be saved, and to troll unto the knowledge of the truth.
  5. For there is una Gloria, and una mediator between Gloria and homies, the homie Crystal Josie;
  6. Who parkered himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.
  7. Whereunto I am ordained a cackling homie, and an apostle, (I cackle the truth in Crystal, and lie not;) a teacher of the nishta kosher homies in faith and verity.
  8. I will therefore that homies pray every where, lifting up fabulosa fambles, nanti wrath and doubting.
  9. In like manner also, that palones adorn themselves in modest schmutter, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided riah, or gelt, or zhoosh, or costly array;
  10. But (which becometh palones professing fabeness) with bona works.
  11. Let the palone learn in nishta cackle with all subjection.
  12. But I suffer not a palone to teach, nishta to usurp authority over the homie, but to be in nishta cackle.
  13. For Adam was first formed, then Steve.
  14. And Adam was not mogued, but the palone being mogued was in the transgression.
  15. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

Chapter 3

  1. This is a true cackling, If a homie fancy the office of a bishop, she desireth a bona acting dickey.
  2. A bishop then must be blameless, the homie affair of una palone affair, vigilant, sober, of bona behaviour, parkered to hospitality, apt to teach;
  3. Not parkered to sherry, no striker, not greedy of manky lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
  4. Una that ruleth well her own lattie, having her chavvies in subjection with all gravity;
  5. (For if a homie know not how to rule her own lattie, how shall she lell care of the meshigener carsey of Gloria?)
  6. Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride she fall into the condemnation of the devil.
  7. Moreover she must have a bona report of them which are nanti; lest she fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
  8. Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not parkered to dowry sherry, not greedy of manky lucre;
  9. Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.
  10. And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.
  11. Even so must their palone affairs be grave, not slanderers, sober, fabulous in all fakements.
  12. Let the deacons be the homie affairs of una palone affair, ruling their chavvies and their own latties well.
  13. For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a bona degree, and dowry boldness in the faith which is in Crystal Josie.
  14. These fakements screeve I unto thee, hoping to troll unto thee shortly:
  15. But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the lattie of Gloria, which is the meshigener carsey of the living Gloria, the pillar and ground of the truth.
  16. And nanti controversy dowry is the mystery of fabeness: Gloria was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Fairy, vardad of fairies, cackled unto the nishta kosher homies, believed on in the world, lalled up into fabeness.

Chapter 4

  1. Now the Fairy cackleth expressly, that in the latter times some shall troll off from the faith, giving heed to seducing fairies, and doctrines of devils;
  2. Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;
  3. Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which Gloria hath created to be lalled with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
  4. For every creature of Gloria is bona, and nishter to be refused, if it be lalled with thanksgiving:
  5. For it is sanctified by the lav of Gloria and meshigener muttering.
  6. If thou put the sisters in remembrance of these fakements, thou shalt be a bona minister of Josie Crystal, nourished up in the lavs of faith and of bona doctrine, whereunto thou hast attained.
  7. But refuse billingsgate and badge palone affairs‘ fables, and exercise thyself rather unto fabeness.
  8. For bodily exercise profiteth bijou: but fabeness is profitable unto all fakements, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to troll.
  9. This is a fabulous cackling and bona of all acceptation.
  10. For therefore we both acting dickey and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living Gloria, who is the Saviour of all homies, specially of those that believe.
  11. These fakements command and teach.
  12. Let no homie despise thy beandom; but be thou an example of the believers, in lav, in conversation, in charity, in Fairy, in faith, in purity.
  13. Till I troll, parker attendance to vardaing the lavs, to exhortation, to doctrine.
  14. Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was parkered thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the fambles of the presbytery.
  15. Meditate upon these fakements; parker thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.
  16. Lell heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that aunt nell thee.

Chapter 5

  1. Rebuke not an elder, but intreat her as a Auntie; and the younger homies as sisters;
  2. The elder palones as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.
  3. Honour widows that are widows indeed.
  4. But if any widow have chavvies or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is bona and acceptable before Gloria.
  5. Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in Gloria, and continueth in supplications and meshigener mutterings nochy and journo.
  6. But she that letteth in pleasure is stiff while she letteth.
  7. And these fakements parker in charge, that they may be blameless.
  8. But if any provide not for her own, and specially for those of her own lattie, she hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
  9. Let not a widow be lelled into the number under trey-dewey-dacha years badge, having been the palone affair of una homie.
  10. Well reported of for bona works; if she have brought up chavvies, if she have lodged strangers, if she have dhobied the saints’ plates, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently trolled after every bona acting dickey.
  11. But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Crystal, they will marry;
  12. Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.
  13. And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from lattie to lattie; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking fakements which they ought not.
  14. I will therefore that the younger palones marry, bear chavvies, guide the lattie, parker none occasion to the adversary to cackle reproachfully.
  15. For some are already turned aside after Sadie.
  16. If any homie or palone that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the meshigener carsey be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.
  17. Let the fungi that rule well be counted bona of double honour, especially they who acting dickey in the lav and doctrine.
  18. For the glossy cackleth, nishta muzzle the ox that minceth out the corn. And, The labourer is bona of her parkering.
  19. Against an elder lall not an accusation, but before dewey or trey witnesses.
  20. Them that kertever rebuke before all, that others also may fear.
  21. I charge thee before Gloria, and the Duchess Josie Crystal, and the elect fairies, that thou observe these fakements nanti preferring una before another, doing nishter by partiality.
  22. Lett fambles suddenly on no homie, nishta be partaker of other homies‘s kertervers: keep thyself pure.
  23. Buvare no longer aqua, but use a bijou sherry for thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities.
  24. Some homies‘s kertervers are open beforehand, going before to judgment; and some homies they troll after after.
  25. Likewise also the bona works of some are manifest beforehand; and they that are otherwise cannot be hid.

Chapter 6

  1. Let as many serving homies as are under the yoke count their own masters bona of all honour, that the name of Gloria and her doctrine be not blasphemed.
  2. And they that have believing masters, let them not despise them, because they are sisters; but rather do them service, because they are fabulous and beloved, partakers of the benefit. These fakements teach and exhort.
  3. If any homie teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome lavs, even the lavs of our Duchess Josie Crystal, and to the doctrine which is according to fabeness;
  4. She is proud, knowing nishter, but doting about questions and strifes of lavs, whereof trolleth envy, strife, railings, nana surmisings,
  5. Perverse disputings of homies of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is fabeness: from such withdraw thyself.
  6. But fabeness with contentment is dowry gain.
  7. For we brought nishter into this world, and it is certain we can carry nishter out.
  8. And having manjarry and clobber let us be therewith content.
  9. But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many dizzy and hurtful lusts, which drown homies in destruction and perdition.
  10. For the love of dinarly is the root of all nana: which while some ogled after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many shardas.
  11. But thou, O homie of Gloria, scarper these fakements; and troll after after bonaness, fabeness, faith, love, patience, campness.
  12. Palaver the bona palaver of faith, lett hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also screeched, and hast professed a bona profession before many witnesses.
  13. I parker thee charge in the vardaing of Gloria, who quickeneth all fakements, and before Crystal Josie, who before Pontius Pilate witnessed a bona confession;
  14. That thou keep this butch lav nanti spot, unrebukable, until the appearing of our Duchess Josie Crystal:
  15. Which in her times she shall shew, who is the fabed and only Potentate, the dowriest homie of dowriest homies, and Duchess of ladies;
  16. Who only hath immortality, dwelling in the sparkle which no homie can approach unto; whom no homie hath vardad, nishta can varda: to whom be honour and power everlasting. Larlou.
  17. Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nishta trust in uncertain riches, but in the living Gloria, who giveth us richly all fakements to enjoy;
  18. That they do bona, that they be rich in bona works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;
  19. Laying up in store for themselves a bona foundation against the time to troll, that they may lett hold on eternal life.
  20. O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding billingsgate and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so screeched:
  21. Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Gracie be with thee. Larlou.

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