“James”

Chapter 1

  1. James, a serving homie of Gloria and of the Duchess Josie Crystal, to the kenza tribes which are scattered abroad, greeting.
  2. My sisters, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
  3. Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
  4. But let patience have her absolutely fantabulosa acting dickey, that ye may be absolutely fantabulosa and entire, wanting nishter.
  5. If any of you lack wisdom, let her ask of Gloria, that giveth to all homies liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be parkered her.
  6. But let her ask in faith, nishter wavering. For she that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
  7. For let not that homie think that she shall lall any fakement of the Duchess.
  8. A double minded homie is unstable in all her ways.
  9. Let the sister of low degree rejoice in that she is exalted:
  10. But the rich, in that she is made low: because as the flower of the grass she shall troll away.
  11. For the sun is no sooner risen with a burning heat, but it withereth the grass, and the flower thereof falleth, and the gracie of the fashion of it perisheth: so also shall the rich homie fade away in her ways.
  12. Fabed is the homie that endureth temptation: for when she is tried, she shall lall the mudge of life, which the Duchess hath promised to them that love her.
  13. Let no homie cackle when she is tempted, I am tempted of Gloria: for Gloria cannot be tempted with nana, nishta tempteth she any homie:
  14. But every homie is tempted, when she is drawn away of her own lust, and enticed.
  15. Then when lust hath conceived, it parkereth forth kertever: and kertever, when it is finished, parkereth forth carking it.
  16. Nix err, my beloved sisters.
  17. Every bona gift and every absolutely fantabulosa gift is from above, and trolleth down from the Auntie of sparkles, with whom is no variableness, nishta shadow of turning.
  18. Of her own will chavvied she us with the lav of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of her creatures.
  19. Wherefore, my beloved sisters, let every homie be swift to aunt nell, slow to cackle, slow to wrath:
  20. For the wrath of homie worketh not the bonaness of Gloria.
  21. Wherefore lett apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and lall with campness the engrafted lav, which is able to save your nishta lucoddies.
  22. But be ye doers of the lav, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
  23. For if any be a hearer of the lav, and not a doer, she is like unto a homie beholding her natural eke in a glass:
  24. For she beholdeth himself, and goeth her way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of homie she was.
  25. But whoso varda-eth into the absolutely fantabulosa law of liberty, and continueth therein, she being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the acting dickey, this homie shall be fabed in her deed.
  26. If any homie among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not her polari, but deceiveth her own thumping cheat, this homie‘s religion is vain.
  27. Pure religion and undefiled before Gloria and the Auntie is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

Chapter 2

  1. My sisters, have not the faith of our Duchess Josie Crystal, the Duchess of fabeness, with respect of persons.
  2. For if there troll unto your assembly a homie with a gelt famble cheat, in goodly schmutter, and there troll in also a nanti dinarly homie in vile clobber;
  3. And ye have respect to her that weareth the gay clothing, and cackle unto her, lett thou here in a bona place; and cackle to the nanti dinarly, Stand thou there, or lett here under my footstool:
  4. Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become beaks of nana thoughts?
  5. Aunt nell, my beloved sisters, Hath not Gloria chosen the nanti dinarly of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which she hath promised to them that love her?
  6. But ye have despised the nanti dinarly. Nix rich homies oppress you, and draw you before the judgment seats?
  7. Nix they blaspheme that bona name by the which ye are screeched?
  8. If ye fulfil the royal law according to the glossy, Thou shalt love thy homie ajax as thyself, ye do well:
  9. But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit kertever, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.
  10. For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in una point, she is guilty of all.
  11. For she that cackled, nix commit adultery, cackled also, nix ferricadoza. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou ferricadoza, thou art become a transgressor of the law.
  12. So cackle ye, and so do, as they that shall be judged by the law of liberty.
  13. For she shall have judgment nanti mercy, that hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment.
  14. What doth it profit, my sisters, though a homie cackle she hath faith, and have not works? can faith save her?
  15. If a sister or sister be nanti zhoosh, and destitute of daily manjarry,
  16. And una of you cackle unto them, troll off in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye parker them not those fakements which are needful to the lucoddy; what doth it profit?
  17. Even so faith, if it hath not works, is stiff, being alone.
  18. Any road up, a homie may cackle, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith nanti thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.
  19. Thou believest that there is una Gloria; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.
  20. But wilt thou know, O vain homie, that faith nanti works is stiff?
  21. Was not Abraham our Auntie justified by works, when she had offered Isaac her homie chavvie upon the grovelling fakement?
  22. Vardest thou how faith wrought with her works, and by works was faith made absolutely fantabulosa?
  23. And the glossy was fulfilled which cackleth, Abraham believed Gloria, and it was imputed unto her for bonaness: and she was screeched the bencove of Gloria.
  24. Ye varda then how that by works a homie is justified, and not by faith only.
  25. Likewise also was not Rahab the charvering donna justified by works, when she had lalled the messengers, and had laued them out another way?
  26. For as the lucoddy nanti the Fairy is stiff, so faith nanti works is stiff also.

Chapter 3

  1. My sisters, be not many masters, knowing that we shall lall the dowrier condemnation.
  2. For in many fakements we offend all. If any homie offend not in lav, the same is a absolutely fantabulosa homie, and able also to bridle the whole lucoddy.
  3. Varda, we put bits in the horses’ screeches, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole lucoddy.
  4. Varda also the latties on water, which though they be so dowry, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a dowry pogey helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
  5. Even so the polari is a bijou member, and boasteth dowry fakements. Varda, how dowry a matter a bijou binco fakement kindleth!
  6. And the polari is a binco fakement, a world of codness: so is the polari among our members, that it defileth the whole lucoddy, and setteth on binco fakement the course of nature; and it is set on binco fakement of hell.
  7. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of fakements in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of homiekind:
  8. But the polari can no homie tame; it is an unruly nana, full of deadly poison.
  9. Therewith bless we Gloria, even the Auntie; and therewith curse we homies, which are made after the similitude of Gloria.
  10. Out of the same screech proceedeth bona lav and cursing. My sisters, these fakements ought not so to be.
  11. Doth a fountain lau forth at the same place bona aqua and bitter?
  12. Can the fig tree, my sisters, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt aqua and fresh.
  13. Who is a wise homie and endued with knowledge among you? let her shew out of a bona conversation her works with campness of wisdom.
  14. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your thumping cheats, fabeness not, and lie not against the truth.
  15. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
  16. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every nana acting dickey.
  17. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and bona fruits, nanti partiality, and nanti hypocrisy.
  18. And the fruit of bonaness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

Chapter 4

  1. From whence troll wars and fightings among you? troll they not hence, even of your lusts that barney in your members?
  2. Ye lust, and have not: ye ferricadoza, and fancy to have, and cannot obtain: ye palaver and barney, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
  3. Ye ask, and lall not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
  4. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with Gloria? whosoever therefore will be a bencove of the world is the enemy of Gloria.
  5. Do ye think that the glossy cackleth in vain, The Fairy that letteth in us lusteth to envy?
  6. But she giveth more gracie. Wherefore she cackleth, Gloria resisteth the proud, but giveth gracie unto the humble.
  7. Submit yourselves therefore to Gloria. Resist the devil, and she will scarper from you.
  8. Draw ajax to Gloria, and she will draw ajax to you. Cleanse your fambles, ye kerterverers; and purify your thumping cheats, ye double minded.
  9. Be afflicted, and mourn, and parnie: let your tittering be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
  10. Humble yourselves in the vardaing of the Duchess, and she shall lift you up.
  11. Cackle not nana una of another, sisters. She that cackleth nana of her sister, and judgeth her sister, cackleth nana of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou beak the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a beak.
  12. There is una lawgiver, who is able to save and to battyfang: who art thou that judgest another?
  13. Troll to now, ye that cackle, To journo or to morrow we will troll into such a smoke, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
  14. Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a bijou time, and then vanisheth away.
  15. For that ye ought to cackle, If the Duchess will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
  16. But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is nana.
  17. Therefore to her that knoweth to do bona, and doeth it not, to her it is kertever.

Chapter 5

  1. Troll to now, ye rich homies, parnie and howl for your miseries that shall troll upon you.
  2. Your riches are corrupted, and your frocks are motheaten.
  3. Your gelt and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a varda-ing fakement against you, and shall jarry your flesh as it were binco fakement. Ye have heaped gelt together for the last days.
  4. Varda, the hire of the labourers who have reaped down your fields, which is of you kept back by fraud, screecheth: and the screeches of them which have reaped are entered into the aunt nelly cheats of the Duchess of sabaoth.
  5. Ye have lived in pleasure on the earth, and been wanton; ye have nourished your thumping cheats, as in a journo of slaughter.
  6. Ye have condemned and ferricadozad the just; and she doth not resist you.
  7. Be patient therefore, sisters, unto the trolling of the Duchess. Varda, the husbandman waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until she lall the early and latter rain.
  8. Be ye also patient; stablish your thumping cheats: for the trolling of the Duchess draweth ajax.
  9. Grudge not una against another, sisters, lest ye be condemned: varda, the beak standeth before the door.
  10. Lell, my sisters, the prophets, who have cackled in the name of the Duchess, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience.
  11. Varda, we count them happy which endure. Ye have aunt nelled of the patience of Job, and have vardad the end of the Duchess; that the Duchess is dowry pitiful, and of tender mercy.
  12. But above all fakements, my sisters, swear not, nishta by heaven, nishta by the earth, nishta by any other oath: but let your any road up be any road up; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.
  13. Is any among you afflicted? let her pray. Is any merry? let her sing psalms.
  14. Is any sick among you? let her screech for the fungi of the meshigener carsey; and let them pray over her, anointing her with lube in the name of the Duchess:
  15. And the meshigener muttering of faith shall save the sick, and the Duchess shall raise her up; and if she have committed kertervers, they shall be forgiven her.
  16. Dish your faults una to another, and pray una for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent meshigener muttering of a bona homie availeth dowry.
  17. Elias was a homie subject to like passions as we are, and she prayed earnestly that it might not rain: and it rained not on the earth by the space of trey years and sey months.
  18. And she prayed again, and the heaven parkered rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit.
  19. Sisters, if any of you do err from the truth, and una convert her;
  20. Let her know, that she which converteth the sinner from the error of her way shall save a nishta lucoddy from carking it, and shall hide a multitude of kertervers.

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