“1 Peter”

Chapter 1

  1. Petra, an apostle of Josie Crystal, to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia,
  2. Elect according to the foreknowledge of Gloria the Auntie, through sanctification of the Fairy, unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Josie Crystal: gracie unto you, and peace, be multiplied.
  3. Fabed be the Gloria and Auntie of our Duchess Josie Crystal, which according to her abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Josie Crystal from the stiff,
  4. To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,
  5. Who are kept by the power of Gloria through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
  6. Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
  7. That the trial of your faith, being dowry more precious than of gelt that perisheth, though it be tried with binco fakement, might be found unto praise and honour and fabeness at the appearing of Josie Crystal:
  8. Whom having not vardad, ye love; in whom, though now ye varda her not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of fabeness:
  9. Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your nishta lucoddies.
  10. Of which salvation the prophets have enquired and searched diligently, who prophesied of the gracie that should troll unto you:
  11. Searching what, or what manner of time the Fairy of Crystal which was in them did signify, when it testified beforehand the sufferings of Crystal, and the fabeness that should troll after.
  12. Unto whom it was revealed, that not unto themselves, but unto us they did minister the fakements, which are now reported unto you by them that have cackled the gossip unto you with the Fantabulosa Fairy laued down from heaven; which fakements the fairies fancy to varda into.
  13. Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the gracie that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Josie Crystal;
  14. As obedient chavvies, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:
  15. But as she which hath screeched you is fabulosa, so be ye fabulosa in all manner of conversation;
  16. Because it is screeved, Be ye fabulosa; for I am fabulosa.
  17. And if ye screech on the Auntie, who nanti respect of persons judgeth according to every homie‘s acting dickey, pass the time of your sojourning here in fear:
  18. Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible fakements, as silver and gelt, from your vain conversation lalled by tradition from your aunties;
  19. But with the precious blood of Crystal, as of a lamb nanti blemish and nanti spot:
  20. Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you,
  21. Who by her do believe in Gloria, that raised her up from the stiff, and parkered her fabeness; that your faith and hope might be in Gloria.
  22. Vardaing ye have purified your nishta lucoddies in obeying the truth through the Fairy unto unfeigned love of the sisters, varda that ye love una another with a pure thumping cheat fervently:
  23. Being born again, not of corruptible maria, but of incorruptible, by the lav of Gloria, which letteth and letteth for ever.
  24. For all flesh is as grass, and all the fabeness of homie as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away:
  25. But the lav of the Duchess endureth for ever. And this is the lav which by the gossip is cackled unto you.

Chapter 2

  1. Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, all nana speakings,
  2. As newborn babes, fancy the sincere milk of the lav, that ye may grow thereby:
  3. If so be ye have tasted that the Duchess is bona.
  4. To whom trolling, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of homies, but chosen of Gloria, and precious,
  5. Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual lattie, an fabulosa priesthood, to offer up spiritual parkers, acceptable to Gloria by Josie Crystal.
  6. Wherefore also it is contained in the glossy, varda, I lett in Sion a dowriest corner stone, elect, precious: and she that believeth on her shall not be bamboozled.
  7. Unto you therefore which believe she is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the eke of the corner,
  8. And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the lav, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed.
  9. But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an fabulosa nation, a peculiar homies and palones; that ye should shew forth the praises of her who hath screeched you out of munge into her marvellous sparkle;
  10. Which in time past were not a homies and palones, but are now the homies and palones of Gloria: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.
  11. Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which barney against the nishta lucoddy;
  12. Having your conversation honest among the nishta kosher homies: that, whereas they cackle against you as evildoers, they may by your bona works, which they shall varda, glorify Gloria in the journo of visitation.
  13. Submit yourselves to every ordinance of homie for the Duchess‘s sake: whether it be to the dowriest homie, as supreme;
  14. Or unto governors, as unto them that are laued by her for the zsa zsa-ing of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.
  15. For so is the will of Gloria, that with well doing ye may put to nishta cackle the ignorance of dizzy homies:
  16. As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the serving homies of Gloria.
  17. Honour all homies. Love the brotherhood. Fear Gloria. Honour the dowriest homie.
  18. Serving homies, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the bona and gentle, but also to the froward.
  19. For this is thankworthy, if a homie for conscience toward Gloria endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
  20. For what fabeness is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall lell it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye lell it patiently, this is acceptable with Gloria.
  21. For even hereunto were ye screeched: because Crystal also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should troll after her steps:
  22. Who did no kertever, nishta was guile found in her screech:
  23. Who, when she was reviled, reviled not again; when she suffered, she threatened not; but committed himself to her that judgeth righteously:
  24. Who her own self bare our kertervers in her own lucoddy on the tree, that we, being stiff to kertervers, should live unto bonaness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
  25. For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now trolled back unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your nishta lucoddies.

Chapter 3

  1. Likewise, ye palone affairs, be in subjection to your own homie affairs; that, if any obey not the lav, they also may nanti the lav be won by the conversation of the palone affairs;
  2. While they varda your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
  3. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the riah, and of wearing of gelt, or of putting on of schmutter;
  4. But let it be the hidden homie of the thumping cheat, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a camp and quiet Fairy, which is in the vardaing of Gloria of dowry price.
  5. For after this manner in the badge time the fabulosa palones also, who trusted in Gloria, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own homie affairs:
  6. Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling her Duchess: whose palone chavvies ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
  7. Likewise, ye homie affairs, lett with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the palone affair, as unto the nellier fakement, and as being heirs together of the gracie of life; that your meshigener mutterings be not hindered.
  8. Finally, be ye all of una mind, having compassion una of another, love as sisters, be pitiful, be courteous:
  9. Not rendering nana for nana, or railing for railing: but contrariwise bona lav; knowing that ye are thereunto screeched, that ye should inherit a bona lav.
  10. For she that will love life, and varda bona days, let her refrain her polari from nana, and her lips that they cackle no guile:
  11. Let her eschew nana, and do bona; let her charper peace, and ensue it.
  12. For the ogles of the Duchess are over the bona, and her aunt nelly cheats are open unto their meshigener mutterings: but the eke of the Duchess is against them that do nana.
  13. And who is she that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is bona?
  14. But and if ye suffer for bonaness‘ sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, nishta be troubled;
  15. But bonafy the Duchess Gloria in your thumping cheats: and be ready always to parker an answer to every homie that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with campness and fear:
  16. Having a bona conscience; that, whereas they cackle nana of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your bona conversation in Crystal.
  17. For it is benar, if the will of Gloria be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for nana doing.
  18. For Crystal also hath once suffered for kertervers, the just for the unjust, that she might parker us to Gloria, being put to carking it in the flesh, but quickened by the Fairy:
  19. By which also she trolled and cackled unto the fairies in charpering carsey;
  20. Which sometime were disobedient, when once the longsuffering of Gloria waited in the days of Norah, while the bijou arkette was a preparing, wherein nishta dowry, that is, say dooe nishta lucoddies were saved by aqua.
  21. The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a bona conscience toward Gloria,) by the resurrection of Josie Crystal:
  22. Who is trolled into heaven, and is on the sweet martini of Gloria; fairies and authorities and powers being made subject unto her.

Chapter 4

  1. Forasmuch then as Crystal hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for she that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from kertever;
  2. That she no longer should live the lettie of her time in the flesh to the lusts of homies, but to the will of Gloria.
  3. For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the nishta kosher homies, when we minced in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of sherry, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:
  4. Wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking nana of you:
  5. Who shall parker account to her that is ready to beak the quick and the stiff.
  6. For for this cause was the gossip cackled also to them that are stiff, that they might be judged according to homies in the flesh, but live according to Gloria in the Fairy.
  7. But the end of all fakements is at famble: be ye therefore sober, and varda unto meshigener muttering.
  8. And above all fakements have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of kertervers.
  9. Use hospitality una to another nanti grudging.
  10. As every homie hath lalled the gift, even so minister the same una to another, as bona stewards of the manifold gracie of Gloria.
  11. If any homie cackle, let her cackle as the oracles of Gloria; if any homie minister, let her do it as of the ability which Gloria giveth: that Gloria in all fakements may be glorified through Josie Crystal, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Larlou.
  12. Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange fakement happened unto you:
  13. But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Crystal‘s sufferings; that, when her fabeness shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.
  14. If ye be reproached for the name of Crystal, happy are ye; for the Fairy of fabeness and of Gloria resteth upon you: on their part she is nana cackled of, but on your part she is glorified.
  15. But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a sharpering homie, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other homies‘s matters.
  16. Yet if any homie suffer as a Christian, let her not be ashamed; but let her glorify Gloria on this behalf.
  17. For the time is troll that judgment must begin at the lattie of Gloria: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gossip of Gloria?
  18. And if the bona scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?
  19. Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of Gloria commit the keeping of their nishta lucoddies to her in well doing, as unto a fabulous Creator.

Chapter 5

  1. The fungi which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a varda-ing fakement of the sufferings of Crystal, and also a partaker of the fabeness that shall be revealed:
  2. Feed the flock of Gloria which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for manky lucre, but of a ready mind;
  3. Nishta as being ladies over Gloria‘s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.
  4. And when the dowriest Shepherd shall appear, ye shall lall a mudge of fabeness that fadeth not away.
  5. Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Any road up, all of you be subject una to another, and be clothed with humility: for Gloria resisteth the proud, and giveth gracie to the humble.
  6. Humble yourselves therefore under the dowry butch famble of Gloria, that she may exalt you in due time:
  7. Chucking all your care upon her; for she careth for you.
  8. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a butch shrieking lion, minceth about, seeking whom she may devour:
  9. Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your sisters that are in the world.
  10. But the Gloria of all gracie, who hath screeched us unto her eternal fabeness by Crystal Josie, after that ye have suffered a while, make you absolutely fantabulosa, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
  11. To her be fabeness and dominion for ever and ever. Larlou.
  12. By Silvanus, a fabulous sister unto you, as I suppose, I have screeved briefly, exhorting, and testifying that this is the true gracie of Gloria wherein ye stand.
  13. The meshigener carsey that is at Babylon, elected together with you, saluteth you; and so doth Marcus my homie chavvie.
  14. Greet ye una another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all that are in Crystal Josie. Larlou.

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