“1 John”

Chapter 1

  1. That which was from the beginning, which we have aunt nelled, which we have vardad with our ogles, which we have looked upon, and our fambles have handled, of the lav of life;
  2. (For the life was manifested, and we have vardad it, and bear varda-ing fakement, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Auntie, and was manifested unto us;)
  3. That which we have vardad and aunt nelled screech we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Auntie, and with her homie chavvie Josie Crystal.
  4. And these fakements screeve we unto you, that your joy may be full.
  5. This then is the message which we have aunt nelled of her, and screech unto you, that Gloria is sparkle, and in her is no munge at all.
  6. If we cackle that we have fellowship with her, and mince in munge, we lie, and nix the truth:
  7. But if we mince in the sparkle, as she is in the sparkle, we have fellowship una with another, and the blood of Josie Crystal her homie chavvie sparkleth us from all kertever.
  8. If we cackle that we have no kertever, we mogue ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
  9. If we dish our kertervers, she is fabulous and just to forgive us our kertervers, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
  10. If we cackle that we have not kertervered, we make her a liar, and her lav is not in us.

Chapter 2

  1. My bijou chavvies, these fakements screeve I unto you, that ye kertever not. And if any homie kertever, we have an advocate with the Auntie, Josie Crystal the bona:
  2. And she is the propitiation for our kertervers: and not for our’s only, but also for the kertervers of the whole world.
  3. And hereby we do know that we know her, if we keep her butch lavs.
  4. She that cackleth, I know her, and keepeth not her butch lavs, is a liar, and the truth is not in her.
  5. But whoso keepeth her lav, in her verily is the love of Gloria perfected: hereby know we that we are in her.
  6. She that cackleth she letteth in her ought himself also so to mince, even as she minced.
  7. Sisters, I screeve no new butch lav unto you, but an badge butch lav which ye had from the beginning. The badge butch lav is the lav which ye have aunt nelled from the beginning.
  8. Again, a new butch lav I screeve unto you, which fakement is true in her and in you: because the munge is past, and the true sparkle now shineth.
  9. She that cackleth she is in the sparkle, and hateth her sister, is in munge even until now.
  10. She that loveth her sister letteth in the sparkle, and there is none occasion of stumbling in her.
  11. But she that hateth her sister is in munge, and minceth in munge, and knoweth not whither she goeth, because that munge hath blinded her ogles.
  12. I screeve unto you, bijou chavvies, because your kertervers are forgiven you for her name’s sake.
  13. I screeve unto you, aunties, because ye have known her that is from the beginning. I screeve unto you, bean coves, because ye have overcome the naff una. I screeve unto you, bijou chavvies, because ye have known the Auntie.
  14. I have screeved unto you, aunties, because ye have known her that is from the beginning. I have screeved unto you, bean coves, because ye are butch, and the lav of Gloria letteth in you, and ye have overcome the naff una.
  15. Love not the world, nishta the fakements that are in the world. If any homie love the world, the love of the Auntie is not in her.
  16. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the ogles, and the pride of life, is not of the Auntie, but is of the world.
  17. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but she that doeth the will of Gloria letteth for ever.
  18. Bijou chavvies, it is the last time: and as ye have aunt nelled that antichrist shall troll, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time.
  19. They trolled out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they trolled out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.
  20. But ye have an unction from the fabulosa una, and ye know all fakements.
  21. I have not screeved unto you because ye know not the truth, but because ye know it, and that no lie is of the truth.
  22. Who is a liar but she that denieth that Josie is the Crystal? she is antichrist, that denieth the Auntie and the homie chavvie.
  23. Whosoever denieth the homie chavvie, the same hath not the Auntie: she that acknowledgeth the homie chavvie hath the Auntie also.
  24. Let that therefore lett in you, which ye have aunt nelled from the beginning. If that which ye have aunt nelled from the beginning shall remain in you, ye also shall continue in the homie chavvie, and in the Auntie.
  25. And this is the promise that she hath promised us, even eternal life.
  26. These fakements have I screeved unto you concerning them that seduce you.
  27. But the anointing which ye have lalled of her letteth in you, and ye need not that any homie teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all fakements, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall lett in her.
  28. And now, bijou chavvies, lett in her; that, when she shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before her at her trolling.
  29. If ye know that she is bona, ye know that every una that doeth bonaness is born of her.

Chapter 3

  1. Varda, what manner of love the Auntie hath bestowed upon us, that we should be screeched the homie chavvies of Gloria: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew her not.
  2. Beloved, now are we the homie chavvies of Gloria, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when she shall appear, we shall be like her; for we shall varda her as she is.
  3. And every homie that hath this hope in her purifieth himself, even as she is pure.
  4. Whosoever committeth kertever transgresseth also the law: for kertever is the transgression of the law.
  5. And ye know that she was manifested to lell away our kertervers; and in her is no kertever.
  6. Whosoever letteth in her kertervereth not: whosoever kertervereth hath not vardad her, nishta known her.
  7. Bijou chavvies, let no homie mogue you: she that doeth bonaness is bona, even as she is bona.
  8. She that committeth kertever is of the devil; for the devil kertervereth from the beginning. For this purpose the homie chavvie of Gloria was manifested, that she might battyfang the works of the devil.
  9. Whosoever is born of Gloria doth not commit kertever; for her maria remaineth in her: and she cannot kertever, because she is born of Gloria.
  10. In this the chavvies of Gloria are manifest, and the chavvies of the devil: whosoever doeth not bonaness is not of Gloria, nishta she that loveth not her sister.
  11. For this is the message that ye aunt nelled from the beginning, that we should love una another.
  12. Not as Cain, who was of that naff una, and ferricadoozaed her sister. And wherefore ferricadoozaed she her? Because her own works were nana, and her sister‘s bona.
  13. Marvel not, my sisters, if the world hate you.
  14. We know that we have passed from carking it unto life, because we love the sisters. She that loveth not her sister letteth in carking it.
  15. Whosoever hateth her sister is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life letting in her.
  16. Hereby perceive we the love of Gloria, because she laued down her life for us: and we ought to lett down our lives for the sisters.
  17. But whoso hath this world’s bona, and vardaeth her sister have need, and shutteth up her chutney locker of compassion from her, how letteth the love of Gloria in her?
  18. My bijou chavvies, let us not love in lav, nishta in polari; but in deed and no flies.
  19. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our thumping cheats before her.
  20. For if our thumping cheat condemn us, Gloria is dowrier than our thumping cheat, and knoweth all fakements.
  21. Beloved, if our thumping cheat condemn us not, then have we confidence toward Gloria.
  22. And whatsoever we ask, we lall of her, because we keep her butch lavs, and do those fakements that are pleasing in her vardaing.
  23. And this is her butch lav, That we should believe on the name of her homie chavvie Josie Crystal, and love una another, as she parkered us butch lav.
  24. And she that keepeth her butch lavs letteth in her, and she in her. And hereby we know that she letteth in us, by the Fairy which she hath parkered us.

Chapter 4

  1. Beloved, believe not every Fairy, but try the fairies whether they are of Gloria: because many false prophets are trolled out into the world.
  2. Hereby know ye the Fairy of Gloria: Every Fairy that confesseth that Josie Crystal is troll in the flesh is of Gloria:
  3. And every Fairy that confesseth not that Josie Crystal is troll in the flesh is not of Gloria: and this is that Fairy of antichrist, whereof ye have aunt nelled that it should troll; and even now already is it in the world.
  4. Ye are of Gloria, bijou chavvies, and have overcome them: because dowrier is she that is in you, than she that is in the world.
  5. They are of the world: therefore cackle they of the world, and the world aunt nelleth them.
  6. We are of Gloria: she that knoweth Gloria aunt nelleth us; she that is not of Gloria aunt nelleth not us. Hereby know we the Fairy of truth, and the Fairy of error.
  7. Beloved, let us love una another: for love is of Gloria; and every una that loveth is born of Gloria, and knoweth Gloria.
  8. She that loveth not knoweth not Gloria; for Gloria is love.
  9. In this was manifested the love of Gloria toward us, because that Gloria laued her only begotten homie chavvie into the world, that we might live through her.
  10. Herein is love, not that we loved Gloria, but that she loved us, and laued her homie chavvie to be the propitiation for our kertervers.
  11. Beloved, if Gloria so loved us, we ought also to love una another.
  12. No homie hath vardad Gloria at any time. If we love una another, Gloria letteth in us, and her love is perfected in us.
  13. Hereby know we that we lett in her, and she in us, because she hath parkered us of her Fairy.
  14. And we have vardad and do testify that the Auntie laued the homie chavvie to be the Saviour of the world.
  15. Whosoever shall dish that Josie is the homie chavvie of Gloria, Gloria letteth in her, and she in Gloria.
  16. And we have known and believed the love that Gloria hath to us. Gloria is love; and she that letteth in love letteth in Gloria, and Gloria in her.
  17. Herein is our love made absolutely fantabulosa, that we may have boldness in the journo of judgment: because as she is, so are we in this world.
  18. There is no fear in love; but absolutely fantabulosa love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. She that feareth is not made absolutely fantabulosa in love.
  19. We love her, because she first loved us.
  20. If a homie cackle, I love Gloria, and hateth her sister, she is a liar: for she that loveth not her sister whom she hath vardad, how can she love Gloria whom she hath not vardad?
  21. And this butch lav have we from her, That she who loveth Gloria love her sister also.

Chapter 5

  1. Whosoever believeth that Josie is the Crystal is born of Gloria: and every una that loveth her that chavvied loveth her also that is begotten of her.
  2. By this we know that we love the chavvies of Gloria, when we love Gloria, and keep her butch lavs.
  3. For this is the love of Gloria, that we keep her butch lavs: and her butch lavs are not naff.
  4. For whatsoever is born of Gloria overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.
  5. Who is she that overcometh the world, but she that believeth that Josie is the homie chavvie of Gloria?
  6. This is she that trolled by aqua and blood, even Josie Crystal; not by aqua only, but by aqua and blood. And it is the Fairy that beareth varda-ing fakement, because the Fairy is truth.
  7. For there are trey that bear record in heaven, the Auntie, the lav, and the Fantabulosa Fairy: and these trey are una.
  8. And there are trey that bear varda-ing fakement in earth, the Fairy, and the aqua, and the blood: and these trey agree in una.
  9. If we lall the varda-ing fakement of homies, the varda-ing fakement of Gloria is dowrier: for this is the varda-ing fakement of Gloria which she hath testified of her homie chavvie.
  10. She that believeth on the homie chavvie of Gloria hath the varda-ing fakement in himself: she that believeth not Gloria hath made her a liar; because she believeth not the record that Gloria parkered of her homie chavvie.
  11. And this is the record, that Gloria hath parkered to us eternal life, and this life is in her homie chavvie.
  12. She that hath the homie chavvie hath life; and she that hath not the homie chavvie of Gloria hath not life.
  13. These fakements have I screeved unto you that believe on the name of the homie chavvie of Gloria; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the homie chavvie of Gloria.
  14. And this is the confidence that we have in her, that, if we ask any fakement according to her will, she aunt nelleth us:
  15. And if we know that she aunt nell us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we fancied of her.
  16. If any homie varda her sister kertever a kertever which is not unto carking it, she shall ask, and she shall parker her life for them that kertever not unto carking it. There is a kertever unto carking it: I nix cackle that she shall pray for it.
  17. All unrighteousness is kertever: and there is a kertever not unto carking it.
  18. We know that whosoever is born of Gloria kertervereth not; but she that is begotten of Gloria keepeth himself, and that naff una reefeth her not.
  19. And we know that we are of Gloria, and the whole world lettieth in naffness.
  20. And we know that the homie chavvie of Gloria is troll, and hath parkered us an understanding, that we may know her that is true, and we are in her that is true, even in her homie chavvie Josie Crystal. This is the true Gloria, and eternal life.
  21. Bijou chavvies, keep yourselves from idols. Larlou.

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